It’s simple. But in today’s world, it certainly isn’t easy. The hardest part about being healthy is learning how simple it can be. Simplifying one’s life can be very complicated.
When I binged, I didn’t feel anything but good. It felt so good to have a mouth full of food. And I wanted to swallow it as fast as possible so I could get more of that feeling, that taste when it’s best, which is when it’s fresh, when it first goes into my mouth. I could eat more and I could eat faster than anyone I knew, including those guys on TV in then hot dog eating contests.
It is my third early memory of food that set the foundation for a lifelong, dysfunctional relationship with food. At age six I was a large framed, muscular child. My stepmother decided I was fat. Her solution was to withhold food. My brother and sister were allowed snacks after school. Not me. It didn’t matter that I was hungry. No snack. I remember the hunger as physical and emotional pain.