My Eating Disorder – Addicted to Food

Chinese Buffet

When I binged, I didn’t feel anything but good. It felt so good to have a mouth full of food. And I wanted to swallow it as fast as possible so I could get more of that feeling, that taste when it’s best, which is when it’s fresh, when it first goes into my mouth. I could eat more and I could eat faster than anyone I knew, including those guys on TV in then hot dog eating contests.

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My Eating Disorder

Chinese Buffet

It is my third early memory of food that set the foundation for a lifelong, dysfunctional relationship with food. At age six I was a large framed, muscular child. My stepmother decided I was fat. Her solution was to withhold food. My brother and sister were allowed snacks after school. Not me. It didn’t matter that I was hungry. No snack. I remember the hunger as physical and emotional pain.